The Ten Commandments of Patriotism
Ari Fleischer - 28.07.2002 01:04
These are the Ten Commandments any American Patriot shalt live by:
1. Thou Shalt Honor Thy White House-Sanctioned Spin
2. Thou Shalt Not Laugh At Bill Maher, His Jokes, Or Refer To His Traitorous Comments As "Free Speech." He's Not Funny, Just Smarmy And Full Of Himself, And That Pinko Hollywood Homo-Lover Had Better Watch His Back
3. Thou Shalt Visit The State Of Our Supreme Leader's Younger Sibling Jed, And Worship At The Corporate Altar of Walt Disney
4. Thou Shalt Mock Past Presidents and Past Presidents Only (Especially James Earl Carter, Jr.)
5. Thou Shalt Not Covet The Sumptuously Androgynous Posterior of Karen Hughes
6. Thou Shalt Not Question Authority Unless The Authority In Question Is:
- A Gratuitously Smarty-Pants Academic
- A Meddling Liberal Journalist
- An Uppity Feminist
- Super-Powered, Suicidal Madmen Bent On World Domination
7. Thou Shalt Have No Other Press Secretary But Me, and Thou Shalt Abstain From Noting My Resemblance To A Balding Warthog
8. Thou Shalt Not Disparage The First Lady's Taste In Contemporary Pantsuits
9. Thou Shalt Not Doubt That Our Leader Channeleth The Truth Through Me - Lest Thou Wisheth To Find Thyself On The Receiving End Of A Painfully Thorough FBI Body Cavity Search
10. Thou Shalt Drape Thyself In The Flag, Offer Prayers To Jesus Christ, And VOTE REPUBLICAN!
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